The following comes from Lysa TerKeurst's blog.
I always thought marriage was all about finding the right partner. If you find "the one"- you'll be happy, secure, and fulfilled. I do think it's good to have a list of standards that you look for in a spouse.
However, it can never be with the expectation that if you find that special someone, he'll right all your wrongs and fill up all your insecurities. The problem with this thinking is the pressure it will eventually put on your spouse.
To expect another person to make you feel happy, secure, and fulfilled will leave you disappointed at best and disillusioned at worst. Even a great husband makes a very poor God.
Only God can settle those deep heart needs. A man can never do this. If a husband could meet every need his wife had, we'd have no need for God. Therefore, instead of just focusing on finding the right partner, let God work on your heart to help you become the right partner.
The time to start working on becoming a wife is before the wedding. Before the white dress, delicate bouquets, unity candle, bacon wrapped shrimp, and reception punch, there is some heart stuff to consider:
Getting married doesn't instantly make you selfless... it makes you realize how very selfish you can be at times.
Getting married doesn't make you feel loved... it makes you realize love is more of a decision you make than a feeling you feel.
Getting married doesn't take away loneliness... it makes you realize true companionship comes not when you demand it but rather when you give it to another person.
So, what does marriage give?
A chance.
A beautiful chance to make the choice to...
Laugh-
whether or not the jokes are funny.
Love-
by folding his collar over his tie every morning.
Pretend-
like you don't need flowers, but delight when he buys them anyway.
Cheer-
him on through both failures and successes.
Tell-
him he's a great man everyday.
Thank-
God for the privilege of being his wife.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
What I Need To Know
Here is a list of things that we need to remind our spouses of that will help to encourage them daily.
I don't know about you, but sometimes I need lists, and this one challenged me. I plan to make words like this a priority.
As your spouse, I need to know...
I don't know about you, but sometimes I need lists, and this one challenged me. I plan to make words like this a priority.
As your spouse, I need to know...
- how you appreciate me
- what I've done to show that I respect you
- how I've been an encouragement to you
- that you appreciate the "little things" I do every week for you
- of your unconditional acceptance of me, just as I am
- how I am a partner to you
- how you are praying for me
- why you enjoy me
- how I've changed for good or ways that you've seen me grow (I forget sometimes)
- that you want to meet my needs
- that your love will persevere
Taken from the book "What Makes A Man Feel Loved" by Bob Barnes
What We Choose
This is from the book "What Makes A Man Feel Loved" by Bob Barnes.
I just love it!
I married a man I respect;
I have no need to bow and defer.
I married a man I adore and admire;
I don't need to be handed a list entitled
"How to build his ego" or
"the male need for admiration"
Love, loyalty, trust- these are inside me;
They motivate my actions.
To reduce them to rules destroys my motivation.
I choose to serve him, to enjoy him.
We choose to live together and grow together,
to stretch our capacities for love
even when it hurts and looks like conflict.
We choose to learn to know each other
as real people, as two unique individuals unlike any other two.
Our marriage is a commitment to love;
to belong to each other
to know and understand
to care
to share ourselves, our goals,
interests, desires, needs.
Out of that commitment the actions follow.
Love defines our behavior
and our ways of living together.
And since we fail to meet not only the demands
of standards but also the simple requirements
of love
We are forced to believe in forgiveness...and grace.
I just love it!
I married a man I respect;
I have no need to bow and defer.
I married a man I adore and admire;
I don't need to be handed a list entitled
"How to build his ego" or
"the male need for admiration"
Love, loyalty, trust- these are inside me;
They motivate my actions.
To reduce them to rules destroys my motivation.
I choose to serve him, to enjoy him.
We choose to live together and grow together,
to stretch our capacities for love
even when it hurts and looks like conflict.
We choose to learn to know each other
as real people, as two unique individuals unlike any other two.
Our marriage is a commitment to love;
to belong to each other
to know and understand
to care
to share ourselves, our goals,
interests, desires, needs.
Out of that commitment the actions follow.
Love defines our behavior
and our ways of living together.
And since we fail to meet not only the demands
of standards but also the simple requirements
of love
We are forced to believe in forgiveness...and grace.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
The Gesture of Love
Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort,
Of feeling safe with a person; having neither to weigh thoughts nor
measure words, but to pour them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together.
Knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them,
Keeping what is worth keeping and then, with the breath of kindness,
blow the rest away.
*George Eliot*
Of feeling safe with a person; having neither to weigh thoughts nor
measure words, but to pour them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together.
Knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them,
Keeping what is worth keeping and then, with the breath of kindness,
blow the rest away.
*George Eliot*
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Music of the Heart
Love should be like music-
Sometimes lively and fun,
Other times slow and serious,
Occasionally flirty and loud,
But always in harmony with each other.
~From: You +Me= Love
Sometimes lively and fun,
Other times slow and serious,
Occasionally flirty and loud,
But always in harmony with each other.
~From: You +Me= Love
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
A Blessed Marriage
Except Thou build it, Father,
The house is built in vain;
Except Thou, Saviour, bless it,
The joy will turn to pain;
But none can break the marriage
Of hearts in Thee made one,
And the Love Thy Spirit hallows
Is endless love begun.
The house is built in vain;
Except Thou, Saviour, bless it,
The joy will turn to pain;
But none can break the marriage
Of hearts in Thee made one,
And the Love Thy Spirit hallows
Is endless love begun.
Monday, October 1, 2007
Love Letter
The following are excerpts from a letter John Piper wrote to his wife, Noel, on her birthday. They are such a wonderful testimony to a marriage built on God and a reminder to wives of how we should always stand strong in support of our husbands and the postions God has placed them in.
"I celebrate the blessings of your rock solid support, layer upon layer."
”You have supported me in my faith. When I have wavered in discouragement, you have never sunk, but stood. You have directed me to our sovereign King again and again.”
“You have supported me in the calling God has given me. In private you comfort me, in public you stand with me, in all you help me keep my bearings…. You are just rock solid there for me.”
“You have supported me as a Song of Solomon bride—bringing me more pleasures than I could ever deserve, and wakening in me hopes that heaven, which must be better, though there is no marriage there, will be indescribably good.”
“Only you, till death do us part. I love you.”
"I celebrate the blessings of your rock solid support, layer upon layer."
”You have supported me in my faith. When I have wavered in discouragement, you have never sunk, but stood. You have directed me to our sovereign King again and again.”
“You have supported me in the calling God has given me. In private you comfort me, in public you stand with me, in all you help me keep my bearings…. You are just rock solid there for me.”
“You have supported me as a Song of Solomon bride—bringing me more pleasures than I could ever deserve, and wakening in me hopes that heaven, which must be better, though there is no marriage there, will be indescribably good.”
“Only you, till death do us part. I love you.”
Friday, September 21, 2007
Song of Solomon 2:10-13
10 My beloved spoke, and said to me:
"Rise up, my love, my fair one,
And come away.
11 For lo, the winter is past,
The rain is over and gone.
12 The flowers appear on the earth;
The time of singing has come,
And the voice of the turtledove
Is heard in our land.
13 The fig tree puts forth her green figs,
And the vines with the tender grapes
Give a good smell.
Rise up, my love, my fair one,
And come away! "
"Rise up, my love, my fair one,
And come away.
11 For lo, the winter is past,
The rain is over and gone.
12 The flowers appear on the earth;
The time of singing has come,
And the voice of the turtledove
Is heard in our land.
13 The fig tree puts forth her green figs,
And the vines with the tender grapes
Give a good smell.
Rise up, my love, my fair one,
And come away! "
What Greater Thing
George Eliot (1819-1880)
What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined together to strengthen each other in all labor, to minister to each other in all sorrow,to share with each other in all gladness,to be one with each other in the silent unspoken memories and to grow old in one life?
What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined together to strengthen each other in all labor, to minister to each other in all sorrow,to share with each other in all gladness,to be one with each other in the silent unspoken memories and to grow old in one life?
From This Day Forward
From this day forward,
You shall not walk alone.
My heart will be your shelter,
And my arms will be your home.
You shall not walk alone.
My heart will be your shelter,
And my arms will be your home.
I Promise
I love you.
You are my best friend.
I promise to encourage and inspire you,
to laugh with you,
and to comfort you
in times of sorrow and struggle.
I promise to love you in good times and in bad,
when life seems easy and when it seems hard,
when our love is simple, and when it is an effort.
I promise to cherish you, and to always
lift you up with my strength and support.
I will respect and honor you all our days.
These things I give to you today, and all the days of our life.
You are my best friend.
I promise to encourage and inspire you,
to laugh with you,
and to comfort you
in times of sorrow and struggle.
I promise to love you in good times and in bad,
when life seems easy and when it seems hard,
when our love is simple, and when it is an effort.
I promise to cherish you, and to always
lift you up with my strength and support.
I will respect and honor you all our days.
These things I give to you today, and all the days of our life.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Goodnight Sweetheart- D. Kersh
I don't think I need to explain this one :)
Window seat, thirty-thousand feet above the ground
Blue moonbeams on silver wings brings me down
Slipping off my coat for the long night flight
I find a note she wrote last night
I can almost hear those words as I close my eyes
Goodnight sweetheart,
Sleep tight where ever you are
God hold you in His arms while we're apart
Though you're far away
Your love will stay tucked away here in my heart
Goodnight sweetheart
Sleep tight where ever you are
Window seat, thirty-thousand feet above the ground
Blue moonbeams on silver wings brings me down
Slipping off my coat for the long night flight
I find a note she wrote last night
I can almost hear those words as I close my eyes
Goodnight sweetheart,
Sleep tight where ever you are
God hold you in His arms while we're apart
Though you're far away
Your love will stay tucked away here in my heart
Goodnight sweetheart
Sleep tight where ever you are
Strong Determination~ Phillips Craig and Dean
This song was dedicated to us on our first anniversary by Vince's mom.
I’ve got a friend who says
That he’s gonna build a house
He’s in love with a pretty lady
Now he’s ready to settle down
I wonder if he knows
It takes more than wood or stone
To build a house that will stand
When the storms begin to blow
‘Cause in the course of a life
Things don’t always go as planned
And the dreams that began
With a kiss and a prayer
Can slip right through your hands
Chorus
It takes a strong determination
A trust that never dies
The courage to forgive
And a heart that reconciles
A life full of devotion
A faith that won’t give up
It takes a strong determination
To build a house of love
Yes, it’s been said before
But it’s forever true
Good things take a lot of patience
If you’re gonna see them through
So much depends on us
And what we invest through the years
When the fire is an ember
When the laughter’s touched by tears
‘Cause it’s easy to love
When you’ve just fallen in
But the years take a toll
And you’ve got to hold on
To finish what you begin
I’ve got a friend who says
That he’s gonna build a house
He’s in love with a pretty lady
Now he’s ready to settle down
I wonder if he knows
It takes more than wood or stone
To build a house that will stand
When the storms begin to blow
‘Cause in the course of a life
Things don’t always go as planned
And the dreams that began
With a kiss and a prayer
Can slip right through your hands
Chorus
It takes a strong determination
A trust that never dies
The courage to forgive
And a heart that reconciles
A life full of devotion
A faith that won’t give up
It takes a strong determination
To build a house of love
Yes, it’s been said before
But it’s forever true
Good things take a lot of patience
If you’re gonna see them through
So much depends on us
And what we invest through the years
When the fire is an ember
When the laughter’s touched by tears
‘Cause it’s easy to love
When you’ve just fallen in
But the years take a toll
And you’ve got to hold on
To finish what you begin
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