Love & Marriage

The following comes from Lysa TerKeurst's blog.


I always thought marriage was all about finding the right partner. If you find "the one"- you'll be happy, secure, and fulfilled. I do think it's good to have a list of standards that you look for in a spouse.

However, it can never be with the expectation that if you find that special someone, he'll right all your wrongs and fill up all your insecurities. The problem with this thinking is the pressure it will eventually put on your spouse.

To expect another person to make you feel happy, secure, and fulfilled will leave you disappointed at best and disillusioned at worst. Even a great husband makes a very poor God.

Only God can settle those deep heart needs. A man can never do this. If a husband could meet every need his wife had, we'd have no need for God. Therefore, instead of just focusing on finding the right partner, let God work on your heart to help you become the right partner.

The time to start working on becoming a wife is before the wedding. Before the white dress, delicate bouquets, unity candle, bacon wrapped shrimp, and reception punch, there is some heart stuff to consider:

Getting married doesn't instantly make you selfless... it makes you realize how very selfish you can be at times.

Getting married doesn't make you feel loved... it makes you realize love is more of a decision you make than a feeling you feel.

Getting married doesn't take away loneliness... it makes you realize true companionship comes not when you demand it but rather when you give it to another person.

So, what does marriage give?

A chance.

A beautiful chance to make the choice to...

Laugh-
whether or not the jokes are funny.

Love-
by folding his collar over his tie every morning.

Pretend-
like you don't need flowers, but delight when he buys them anyway.

Cheer-
him on through both failures and successes.

Tell-
him he's a great man everyday.

Thank-
God for the privilege of being his wife.

What I Need To Know

Here is a list of things that we need to remind our spouses of that will help to encourage them daily.
I don't know about you, but sometimes I need lists, and this one challenged me. I plan to make words like this a priority.

As your spouse, I need to know...

• how you appreciate me
• what I've done to show that I respect you
• how I've been an encouragement to you
• that you appreciate the "little things" I do every week for you
• of your unconditional acceptance of me, just as I am
• how I am a partner to you
• how you are praying for me
• why you enjoy me
• how I've changed for good or ways that you've seen me grow (I forget sometimes)
• that you want to meet my needs
• that your love will persevere

Taken from the book "What Makes A Man Feel Loved" by Bob Barnes

What We Choose

This is from the book "What Makes A Man Feel Loved" by Bob Barnes.
I just love it!

I married a man I respect;
I have no need to bow and defer.
I married a man I adore and admire;
I don't need to be handed a list entitled
"How to build his ego" or
"the male need for admiration"
Love, loyalty, trust- these are inside me;
They motivate my actions.
To reduce them to rules destroys my motivation.
I choose to serve him, to enjoy him.
We choose to live together and grow together,
to stretch our capacities for love
even when it hurts and looks like conflict.
We choose to learn to know each other
as real people, as two unique individuals unlike any other two.
Our marriage is a commitment to love;
to belong to each other
to know and understand
to care
to share ourselves, our goals,
interests, desires, needs.
Out of that commitment the actions follow.
Love defines our behavior
and our ways of living together.
And since we fail to meet not only the demands
of standards but also the simple requirements
of love
We are forced to believe in forgiveness...and grace.

TLC

You-
Tolerate my trivia,
Laugh at my lunacy, and
Care when I cry.

That's TLC!

The Gesture of Love

Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort,
Of feeling safe with a person; having neither to weigh thoughts nor
measure words, but to pour them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together.
Knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them,
Keeping what is worth keeping and then, with the breath of kindness,
blow the rest away.

*George Eliot*

Music of the Heart

Love should be like music-
Sometimes lively and fun,
Other times slow and serious,
Occasionally flirty and loud,
But always in harmony with each other.
~From: You +Me= Love

A Blessed Marriage

Except Thou build it, Father,
The house is built in vain;
Except Thou, Saviour, bless it,
The joy will turn to pain;
But none can break the marriage
Of hearts in Thee made one,
And the Love Thy Spirit hallows
Is endless love begun.